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heartbreaks:

does anyone get really mad when other people try to tell your pets what to do

(via unpopuler)

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demoncest:

i really hate this ‘ur other half is out there somewhere u just gotta meet them’ like fuck off im not incomplete im a whole person and i dont need anyone to ‘complete me’ the only thing i need is a pizza and not ur shit bye

(via ravenousbunnies)

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quick summary: willy wonka and the chocolate factory

  • boy: i hate being poor
  • grandpa: were going to the fun factory
  • mr chocolate: hello naughty children its murder time
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fakedick:

Hey, if you accidentally call a guy “daddy” in conversation, just save yourself by adding “-o” to the end and slick your hair back like a 1950’s greaser. And throw on your sick-ass leather jacket

Your thirst is hidden and now you’re the coolest dude in school

(via w0otw0ot)

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gotitforcheap:

break up with her 

gotitforcheap:

break up with her 

(Source: memewhore, via twerklikumeanit)

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iamsmallcat:

the last one killed me

(Source: tastefullyoffensive, via w0otw0ot)

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pomfette:

sarrzuu:

officialbeyonceknowles:

Stop over jealous and insecure boys 2014 

what the hell is hw even code for 

hand wjobs 

pomfette:

sarrzuu:

officialbeyonceknowles:

Stop over jealous and insecure boys 2014 

what the hell is hw even code for 

hand wjobs 

(via w0otw0ot)

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brainstatic:

This is the English word I want to get tattooed on my wrist. It means “to keep breathing even though the water rises all around you.” English is such a mystical exotic language. They can fit so much meaning into so small a word.

brainstatic:

This is the English word I want to get tattooed on my wrist. It means “to keep breathing even though the water rises all around you.” English is such a mystical exotic language. They can fit so much meaning into so small a word.

(via w0otw0ot)

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HAVING SEX WITH A GUY THAT HAS NO IDEA WHAT THE HELL HE’S DOING

w0otw0ot:

it-will-all-make-sense:

howdoiputthisgently:

IT’S LIKE:

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maybeimjustagirlinterrupted DANIEL HAHAHAHA

thisurlisfunny
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(Source: logotv, via thathilariousasian)

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wrrench:

YOU ARE THE DANCING QUEEN
YOUNG AND SWEET ONLY SEVENTEEN

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OH YEAH

(via greywardened)

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hanukkahlewinsky:

friend: “i can only bring one friend. wanna go?” 

me:

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(via trust)